Putting Corporate America in the Rearview

You may think I just blew up my life, but I see things differently.

A bold move? No doubt.

A move that had been coming for years? Probably.

A decision that I made lightly? No way.

Throwing my life away? Absolutely not.

Years ago, I needed a job.

A job that was secure.

A job that provided steady income.

A job that challenged me.

A job that I could feel proud of.

A job that allowed me to provide for my daughter.

I mean, isn't that what we're all looking for anyway?

Over time, I needed something more.

I needed a career.

But I still didn't know what I wanted to be when I "grew up". <Enter Dilemma>

After years of working hard in my j-o-b to understand process, business needs, and persevering despite obstacles, I landed my first gig as a Business Analyst.

Ohhhh, hello there, gorgeous! *fans face, bats eyes*

We had a torrid love affair... Business Analysis and I. The kind of affair that makes you forget anyone or anything else exists. I felt so alive. So much passion and fire!

I remember the day that I realized I had FINALLY found my calling. My clients told me how they never had anyone so completely understand their needs before and be able to so succinctly present solutions to them, thus enabling better decision making from them. I walked out of that meeting thinking "Yesssss. Killed it, bitch!" (And yes, I do have to talk to myself that way sometimes. Don't judge.)

Throughout the years, I was fortunate enough to grow my passion into a very successful career. I have worked for large corporations and a top rated consulting firm. I was lucky enough to have incredible mentors along the way; who believed in my skills, and allowed me to grow into a successful, confident, well rounded Business Analyst, Consultant, Project Manager, Practice Leader, strategist, coach, and humble learner.

All of this came at a price, though. A price I was willing and eager to pay. As I said, it was a torrid love affair.

Until two years ago. I nearly died.

My body went into stress shutdown. Me! The chick who always had her shit together. I managed stress with the best of 'em. Yet, there I was.

I developed autonomic dysfunction and postural orthostatic tachycardia syndrome (POTS). In short, all of the things your body does automatically without you having to think about went haywire… and forgot how to function. But hey, let's put a pin in this and talk about it another day, OK?

This was my body's way of saying it couldn't handle the demand anymore. The funnel was full! The INSANITY had to STOP!!

It took a year for me to recoup. Six more months to convince myself to return to the office.

Once I was there, I could tell something was different. Where's the fire? Where's the passion?

I kept telling myself it would come back.

But it never did.

Daily, I asked: Why am I here?

I need my income.

I need normalcy.

I need to know I can still do this.

I NEED my career.

Wait. I don't think I want this career anymore. What does THAT mean?

Through contemplation and introspection, I realized...

This chapter of my book is complete.

I will be okay to begin anew.

I CAN move on now.

My dreams are waiting.

It has been real, Corporate America.

I have loved you and my badass career.

You were good to me, but it's time we break up.

I have a new love affair blooming with my dreams.

Deuces.

-S